Changing your autopilot
To change your social life, you must change the way you think.
Behind everything you do is a thought,
Every behavior is motivated by a belief,
And every action is prompted by an attitude.
Imagine riding in a small plane with an automatic pilot set to go east.
If you decide to reverse and go west,
You have two possible ways of changing direction.
One way is to grab the yoke (control wheel) and physically force it to head in the opposite direction from where the autopilot is programmed to go.
By sheer willpower you could overcome the autopilot,
However you would feel constant resistance.
Your arms would eventually tire of the stress,
You’d let go of the yoke,
And the plane would instantly head back east…
The way it was internally programmed.
This is exactly what happens when you try to change your social life soley based on willpower alone.
You say, “I’ll force myself to go out more… talk to everyone… give out my number… quit being needy and pursue less.”
And yes, willpower CAN produce short-term change,
But it creates constant internal stress because…
You haven’t dealt with the root cause.
The change doesn’t feel natural,
So eventually you feel frustrated,
Have too many drinks,
And start drunk-dialing again.
You quickly revert to your old patterns.
There is a better and simpler way:
Change your autopilot.
Your first step is to start changing the way you think.
The way you think determines the way you feel,
And the way you feel influences the way you act.
To accomplish this you must go through a mental shift.
There are two parts to doing this.
The first half of this mental shift is to stop thinking immature thoughts, which are self-centered and self-seeking.
Babies by nature are completely selfish.
They think only of themselves and their own needs.
They are incapable of giving; they can only receive.
This is immature thinking.
Unfortunately, many people never grow beyond that kind of thinking.
The second half is to start thinking maturely, which focuses on others, not yourself.
Many of you assume that your maturity is measured by the amount of information on dating, seduction or self-improvement that you know.
While knowledge is one measurement of maturity,
It isn’t the whole story.
Living the carefree life I always talk about is far more than creeds and convictions;
It includes conduct and character.
Your deeds must be consistent with your creeds,
And your beliefs must be backed with matching behavior.
This is not a philosophy,
But a relationship and a lifestyle.
The core of this lifestyle is thinking of others instead of yourself.