Guilt Around Sexuality

Here is a question from a reader:


“I came from a good loving home, and I know my parents meant well, but it was a strict religious upbringing, and I ended up feeling shame and guilt around anything to do with sexuality.

I feel that if I try to get a woman into bed, that I am trying to get something from her or manipulate her in some way because it is not in the context of love.”


There are a lot of guys who have the same shame and guilt. They believe they have to be in love before even trying to do anything sexual.

Reality is out there for all of us to observe.

The reality of the situation is that most women (I do not mean ALL woman, I mean MOST women) will sleep with a man on the third date, but will not decide if they love him for another six months (at least for the ones who are not needy.)

That’s reality.

Most women are much more sexual than men.

Most women require that they be treated with respect for the lady that they are.

And if he treats her with respect, and she feels comfortable and safe with him, then she is completely comfortable with sleeping with him.

And understand this:

When it comes to love, most women are completely turned off by men who fall in love with her in the first few dates, or even weeks.

For her, it cheapens the concept of love.

Most women understand that it takes really getting to know someone before falling in love. And that can take six months or even a year.

The reality of the situation is that women will not wait very long to have sex, but they will wait a long time before they fall in love.

So if women don’t have a problem with it, why should you?

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