One of the significant flaws in a Nice Guy’s mental make-up is codependence. They feel they need a woman to love them to feel complete and happy.
It’s in all the great love songs on the radio. It permeates everything.
The irony here is that it’s ultimately disempowering. That NEED makes a Nice Guy act in a way that is a total turnoff to a woman. It gets him the exact opposite result of what he wants.
Often it has guys trying to “fix” situations that aren’t worth fixing.
The one I’m about to share with you came from a reader, Barry, who is in his eighties.
I want you to read his question and before you read my response, think about what advice YOU would give him.
I’m attempting to romance an 80-year-old woman who is entirely ill-suited to the notion of becoming a pleasing lover.
However, we are great friends and truly love one another.
She regards our intimacy as a burden she bears willingly because she loves me.
I have read Ian Kerner’s, “She Comes First” and done everything he suggests.
She doesn’t find oral sex any more pleasing than intercourse.
I’ve also read “Passionate Marriage” and “Love Sex Again.” Nothing has helped.
Do you have any suggestions beyond the obvious, that I should move on to someone else?”
My thoughts for Barry:
First off, good for you having and desiring regular sex at 80 plus years of age! You’re already a champion in my book.
Now on to your questions –
Why would you keep trying to please a woman who clearly has no interest in having sex with you?
Enjoy your friendship, appreciate her, but move on to someone else romantically.
You are trying too hard to fit a square peg into a round hole, and that’s precisely what Nice Guys do because they live in lack and think they’ll never have sex again.
And forget the oral sex book of the week on Amazon; you need “Give Women Wild Screaming Orgasms.”
And it’s about a lot more than orgasms. It about how to talk dirty, how to set the tone, and take the lead to create a wildly sexual relationship. It gives you all the components you need to build it right from the beginning, so you never end up with a woman who loves you but bears the burden of intimacy – I mean what the hell is that?
When you get to the main program, you’ll never have to wonder how to proceed again.