Quite simply, you are ENTIRELY responsible for the sexuality.
You must lead. She must follow.
She is not allowed to lead. She is not allowed to talk about how she is going to please you sexually.
She is not allowed to initiate sex with you. She is not allowed to grab at your dick.
Her performing sexual acts on you, such as going down, are only when you tell her to do it.
And it is only as a reward for her proper behavior, to ramp her up, and for her to further enjoy your dominance.
Your goal sexually is her responsiveness. But do not tell her that, it will give her performance anxiety.
She’ll think it means she has to have an orgasm and of course that will stop her from having an orgasm!
If she can’t sexually please you on her own accord, she will at some point ask you, “Well how can I sexually please you?” You could say to her, “What pleases me is your responsiveness to me.”
I’ve said that to my women in the past. I was able to progress but as I learn more about what I teach, I have a better suggestion:
Instead, she is supposed to concentrate on doing, thinking, and feeling what you are telling her to do and think and feel. Period.
When she does this, she is “compliant.” She is “complying” to your dominance, to your commands. She is following your leadership.
It could also be said that she is “obedient.” Only at the advanced levels would you say to her, “What pleases me is your obedience.” The word “obedience” has negative connotations in most people’s vocabulary.
Do not say to her, “What pleases me is that you are compliant to me.” The word “compliant” is very vague in most people’s vocabulary and has very negative connotations in some.
I would recommend you say to her, “What pleases me is that you follow my lead.” I like that.
It’s politically correct. It’s asking her to be respectful of you. The word “lead” has good connotations in most people’s vocabulary.
The word “follow” seems effortless with only slight negative connotations in some people’s vocabulary. And it’s pretty much what the situation is anyway!
Effective leadership and absolute dominance on your part followed by absolute compliance on her part will result in responsiveness. Period.
If you don’t get responsiveness, you never had compliance in the first place, or you didn’t effectively lead.
You must be the leader. You have a goal. You have a plan to get there. You do not share your plan. Your plan is not questioned. You simply provide direction that is to be followed.
And it is only by providing a strong lead for her to follow that you will allow her to become ruthlessly sexual…
…To do all of the taboo things that you both want to do…
…and to feel the feelings that SHE WANTS TO FEEL.