I was out with a few of my friends recently and I was paying attention to how they interacted with women.
When it came to trying to attract them, these guys were all about impressing women with their “value”. And it got me thinking.
Showing a woman your value is great, but there’s much more powerful tools for attraction. Much more powerful.
When it comes to attraction, I break it down into 3 KEY types.
Here they are:
1) Value based:
Value based attraction is based on what “value you have” intrinsically or provide the girl.
Are you rich? Are you famous? Are you good looking? Are you just inherently confident?
All of this stuff creates a picture in her mind of what kind a man you are as an “offer” to her.
This is why it’s so IMPORTANT to take care of yourself. The more you do that, the more value you have to women.
This is what my friends were trying to convey by trying to impress women.
In reality, all of this is done non-verbally.
By your looks, your style, and most of all your behavior. In particular your social dominance.
But that’s a whole other email.
Emotional attraction is a reflection of the attraction based on the emotional situation. It reflects feelings, but it’s transient. It’s based on how she feels at THAT moment.
So she might really “like you” one night, but the next day feel like crap and not be as interested.
However, if you share a genuine emotional attraction with a girl – it carries over multiple days, weeks, and even years.
If a girl feels an emotional connection with you, you’ll have a HUGE advantage over every single other guy out there.
3) Sexual attraction:
Sexual attraction is an unconscious and physical process that cannot be stopped. It supersedes the other two and is extremely powerful.
Like emotional attraction it is completely irrational – but if you want to have sex with women, you HAVE to hit sexual attraction.
However, hitting sexual attraction too soon or too desperately you are going to get blown out for being sexually pushy and needy.
There is NOTHING less attractive to a woman than neediness.
You have to learn how to balance being “sexually aggressive” (good) and sexually pushy (bad).
A lot of this comes down to reading her body language. The rest comes from experience.
You gotta go and get rejected a lot. Get real world experience, and all of the above will make more sense.
A tip: Get yourself a sexual stereotype early on.
By this I mean dress in a certain type of way that is extremely attractive to certain women (ideally the ones you’re into). This can be a biker, a rocker, a suit – whatever you want.
It’ll help a lot. Women will be far more response to you on all 3 levels.